Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. Slim Shady
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. Slim ShadyAhem.. excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class for one second?
Hi kids! Do you like Primus? (Yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did?
Try 'cid and get messed up worse that my life is?
My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin to get my head straight
but I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate
And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!"
Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Man you wasted!"
Well since age twelve, I've felt like a caged elf
who stayed to himself, in one space, chasin his tail (blalblalblabla)
Got ticked off and ripped Pamela Lee's lips off
Kissed em and said, "I ain't know silicone was 'sposed to be this soft"
I'm bout to pass out and crash, and fall in the grass
faster than a fat man who sat down too fast
C'mere lady! (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)
I don't give a damn, Dre sent me to tick the world off!
Chorus
My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high
Thanks a lot.. next semester, I'll be thirty-five
I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler
and told him to change the grade on the paper
Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up
Served the bartender, then walked out with a tip cup
Extraterrestrial, runnin over pedestrians
in a spaceship while they're screamin at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out my mom does more dope than I do
I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
Make a record about doin drugs and name it after her (Here mom!)
You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
and try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph (Dude, can I get your
autograph?)
So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!'
Chorus
Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)
Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE!
I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive
Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of Kool-Aid -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide
Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks (C'mere)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!) YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS! (WAH!)
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
Put a bulleproof vest on and tap myself in the head (BANG!)
I'm steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!) And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)
Ask him if he bought a porno mag and seen my ad Chorus